Panic

I looked at my baby girl today in sheer panic! She was sitting on the floor playing .  I was making Christmas caramel popcorn for the neighbors. As I looked at her I went into a total state of panic. You hear as a mother all the time that the time goes by fast so enjoy your kids. Well, I really don’t think you realize that until you actually have a kid and see how fast it goes. Tonight I realized how fast time really goes by., thus my panic state. Last year I was holding a tiny 6 lb. baby and now I have an almost 25 lb toddler. Where did the time go? Tonight I looked at her and realized that making popcorn for the neighbors doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but spending time with my baby girl and my husband. Nothing matters but the time we have with each other and the time we give to each other.

I am not one for new years resolutions, but I do resolve from this moment forward to spend more time with my baby girl. To savor each moment I have with her because one day she wont want to sit on the floor and play with me, one day she wont want to cuddle, hug or kiss me.  One day she wont be my “little” girl, though in my heart she always will be.

 

Flowers from a Farmer

His name is Thomas. He is my new buddy. He is the farmer who lives on the hill above my apartment. He yodels and plays the alpen horn. To me he his the typical hard working Swiss farmer. I have been waving at him on my walks while he works in his fields for over a year. The other day he asked me if I would like some sunflowers. He asked my house number and told me he would bring me flowers and drove away. Then for a week he never brought flowers. I was sure I mis-understood him and just randomly gave him my house number when really he was just telling me that I could go pick flowers from his sunflower field. Then today he showed up with a huge bouquet carefully arranged and tied sunflowers. We had a nice chat and he told me his first name. Then he told me he liked my dog and that both my dog and I were very friendly. I think I will make him cookies.

From the WEST

My Friend Abbi took this photo out of her camper window in Wyoming. It made me homesick. The sky, the landscape, everything about this picture reminded me that I am from the west. The western united states that is. I am use to HOT dry weather with little rain, BIG blue skies and amazing sunsets. Though I do call parts of China home and now parts of Switzerland home, I will always be truly at home in the west.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
I just wanted to thank you for always changing my diapers when I was a baby. Now I have my own baby I have realized what a thankless job changing diapers is. SO, I know I am almost 33 years old, but I want to say THANKS!!!!
Love,
Kady

Different but the Same

I lived in China for 3 years. Since I have blond hair and green eyes it was very easy for the Chinese to figure out that I was a foreigner and that I didn’t belong. Being in Switzerland, it’s harder for the Swiss to know that I don’t belong. Then I found this website. I guess there are similarities between us after all. I think I have made up in my mind that I am much more different from the Swiss than I really am. I did the same with the Chinese. Yes, we are very different, but not so different that we can’t get along. There are some things I have learned and adopted from the Swiss and Chinese, and there are others things that I have shunned and hope that I will never adopt as long as I live.

We aren’t in Kansas anymore

Sometimes when I see Swiss women riding their bikes with little baskets on the back,  I think of Miss Gulch from the Wizard of Oz and the music that goes along with her.

center

I am not the center of the universe. I keep having to tell myself this.  I am not the only person who has had a baby. Billions of women before me have had one or multiple babies. I am not the only person who has lived in a foreign country. Tons of people have lived in foreign countries and survived. I am not the only person who has a lot of things to do. I know for a fact that there are millions upon millions of people who have a lot more to do than I do.  I am not the only person who is trying to learn a foreign language. Billions of people speak multiple languages. Yet, why as humans do we all think we are the center of the universe and that we only matter? Why do we think that we are most important and that whatever we do is more valuable than the next person. Why do we make excuses as if we are the only people in the universe that have ever faced trials, challenges or frustrations. It is so difficult sometimes for us to realize that we are in fact not the center of the universe. Many people have come before us and many people will come after us.

I’m not that busy

4 years ago

Four years ago yesterday I took a big step and moved to Shanghai. Scared to death, not totally knowing what to expect, I took the big plunge. I got an apartment, and all I needed to live in Shanghai, in hopes that I would be staying for a while. One month after being in Shanghai, miserable, lonely and ready to go home I met Mattie.  One of the luckiest, blessed and best days of my life was the day I met Mattie. Though at the time I didn’t know it.  Four years later I still look at him everyday and am thankful and amazed that we both had to move half way around the world to find each other. I still look at him everyday and am overwhelmed by how fortunate I am to be married to him.  Sometimes you have to travel far to find what is near…..Love you Mattie.

Pullin a FBD

The past month I have pulled a few of what I like to call FBD’s. FBD are my dad’s initials.  My dad always did crazy things with us when we were kids.  When I think back in my childhood they were always FUN things but a bit dangerous.  Well, I have pulled a few of those with my own kids (2 month old baby and dog).

This is the first FBD I pulled.  I took my one month old baby, and dog out into a huge snow storm at about 8:00 at night.  Matt was out of town and it was snowing like crazy. The roads were extremely slick and covered with snow. I was bored and got the bright idea to take the kids out to play in the snow. We drove to a town close by, then we drove out into a field….Now if I had gotten stuck I would have had at least a mile or two to walk out of this place….Not a big deal, but with a newborn baby…It’s a big deal.  But like with my dad’s crazy ideas, all worked out, Moose and I had a ball in the snow and Taylar stayed snug in the car. But still….Who does that?

The next FBD was a couple of weeks ago when I decided to take the kids again in the snow only this time in the alps. It was a beautiful sunny day but it had snowed the night before and there was TONS of snow in the alps.  The temperature was about 10 F. So it was cold.  The further I got up into the alps the worse the roads were, the steeper the hills were and the further my car would have fallen had I slipped off the road.  Finally on the last switch back before we got to the top I pulled over…Sliding everywhere I decided that it was best to turn around and go home.  A little bummed, I turned the car around carefully, since I was still sliding all over and was on a hill.  I finally turned around and carefully drove home. It ended up being a good idea because as soon as I turned around it started to snow. Again, who does this with a new baby????  The only person I could think that would do this would be my dad, and me of course.  I am my fathers daughter.  He has taught me to have a sense of adventure and not to fear much. Which is good and sometimes a little dangerous.

Love you Dad. Thanks for your amazing sense of adventure and danger!